My last blog post, I talked about where Life begins. I felt a nudge to expand on this issue about the areas of life where the comfort zone can affect you. I guess I could have added the comfort zone to the Family Destroyers series as this is also a family destroyer.
The first comfort zone I will talk about is being a passive parent. I thought it would be great to start with. I would like to add that Lil Chris is now almost 21 months old. I just turned 42 this past August and wow has Lil Chris been such a Blessing in our lives. I am so grateful that God allowed us to bring him into this world.
1) Parenting – I see a lot of people drop the ball here. They get lazy. I am sure people don’t want to hear that but it is exactly what is happening out there. Why is it that parents don’t want to invest in their kids? I hear people all the time say I have to make a living. Well if making a living is taking you completely away from raising your kids then something needs to change.
Many couples start out doing everything they can with their kids but then as time goes they get settled into their comfort. God says we are to raise our kids. We have a generation of kids who don’t know who their parents are. Parents are allowing others to raise their kids while they get out and stay focused on their career or their hobbies because a guy needs some guy time right.
We need men to stand up and be a father. We don’t need anymore passive parents. There are enough of them. We need guys who say I will sacrifice a lot in order to protect my kids. We need men to stand up and be there even when it is tough.
I also see some people who are there after work but then they are completely tuned out. Their kids are trying to play with them when they get home but their parents are either too busy or too tired to do anything. I hope I never become that kind of parent.
I know I can’t say a lot on this issue as I only have a newborn but from what I have seen out there with parents, many have shown me an example of someone I never want to become.
2) Marriage – Here is one that many people become passive in too. When they first met both people tried everything to impress their date. They kept themselves up. They called all the time. They talked about their dreams and goals in life. They just looked each other in the eyes and felt all mushy.
What happens after a few years? They get settled in their comfort zone and if they don’t get out of it they will lose their marriage over time. Granted, I have seen some stay together for many years but they haven’t been happy for many many years. It is because they both settled for mediocrity within their marriage.
When people marry, they are never told it takes work and if they are told that, they do not believe it since they are so in love. They feel that love can get them through anything. Love can’t do anything once you fall into the comfort zone.
I know when two people are pursuing God together on a daily basis then nothing can stop that couple. The key is together and daily. Most people who actually do pursue God daily usually don’t do it together as a couple. Why not? Society has taught people that you need your space including your God time.
I hear many pastors tell couples that they need to individually pursue God. I have heard this I don’t know how many times from pastors. It is WRONG in my eyes! They are teaching couples to destroy their marriages because they are now becoming more separated than together. God calls us to become one not split up so many times.
Don’t miss what i am saying here. I know people are saying that I said never have alone time. Please don’t hear that. My wife and I do have some alone time with God as that is important too. We understand we have to be alone with God too but what I see happening in a lot of lives is that couples are only doing alone time separately with God. The only time they worship together is at church if that. Growing towards Christ should be a family event not an alone adventure!
My main point is this, in your marriage if you start getting too comfortable and stop doing the things that you used to do for each other, you will grow apart and it starts with your comfort zone.
3) Life – Life is another point where people get comfortable. They decided that since I am no longer in school, I will not try to grow mentally anymore. People use many excuses on this issue. You are either growing or you are dying. There is no stagnation in life. We all have to grow at our own pace but still growth is important no matter what the pace.
I read an hour a day outside of my bible time. I have to do this if I want to grow. I probably read double that when you add in the business things I read too. I can remember I was so glad I was out of school many years ago because I didn’t have to read anymore or so I thought. I believe by me not trying to grow mentally it caused me to go through many things in my life that I should not have went through.
4) Spiritual – Have you quit going to church and your excuse is that you don’t want to be around all the hypocrites? I hear this one a lot. This excuse really makes a lot of sense. I mean isn’t the church where people who sin are supposed to go? Can you honestly say that you never sin?
Here it is you may be saying that people judge you so that is your excuse when you are doing the exact same thing. You are now judging every single person in the church. You are judging them based on a few people. There are a lot of good people at church if you just open your heart and allow yourself to get to know people.
Will you get burned? Of course from time to time since we are all human but you can’t ever feel love until you take the risk of being burned. Without the risk you feel nothing and that’s not how life is supposed to be.
Maybe you haven’t found the right church? Maybe God is waiting on you to turn back to him so that he can direct you to the church that can take you to the next level spiritually.
I can tell you this, a few years ago my wife and I would have told you that you don’t need church as long as you believe in God. WOW were we wrong. We had no idea how much a solid church can change the whole direction of your life. We are grateful to have found such a Blessing of a church.
Maybe God wants you in a church where you can be the right example for the people in that church. Maybe he is going to use you to change the whole church? No matter what, I really don’t know but God does!
I could have added much more to this blog post but you get the point. A comfort zone is a very bad thing when you get caught in it. It is tough to get out but once you do it will free you to become the person that God called you to be.
Ask God to give you the strength to come out of your comfort zone so that you can live life on his terms. Ask him to help you become the parent he wants you to be and be the husband or wife that he is calling you to be. Ask him to open your heart to growth both mentally and spiritually. Ask him to lead you to the right church so that your talents can be used for his Glory.
Be Inspired or be Left Behind!
Chris Benton