As I sit here thinking about being a father now for 2 1/2 years, I have learned so much about myself. I believe the biggest thing is that patience is king in raising a child that is for sure. Lil Chris has been so great but there are moments where I am like wow this parenting stuff can be hard. But it’s so worth it because at this phase of Lil Chris’ life, it has been so amazing watching him grow and learn new things. It truly brings out the child-like Faith in you again the way God intended it to be. As a dad you get to to live as a kid through your child’s eyes.
I can remember when Lil Chris was born on Jan 11, 2012, I was 40 and when the nurse handed him to me, I was SCARED to death. You see up until that point I had never held a baby in my life even though I was 40. I felt like a teen holding a baby because it was scary. After I got over that which didn’t take long I was able to look into his eyes in joy as my first child. That moment melted me forever!
The next thing I remember is a few days later when we were leaving the hospital as I was placing him into his carseat (I should have taken the carseat up in the hospital because it was like 20 degrees and I never tried that before) but finally got that done. I hopped in the car and as we were driving off, I asked Sandy now what? She looked at me and laughed and said I have no idea. You see Sandy never took care of a baby either. Even though we were a little older, it was all new to us.
I have to be honest, I am glad I didn’t know much because it made raising him even better because we got to grow together. I didn’t know it all, so I had to learn so many things. Thank God for the internet though as we had to look up so many things over these 2 1/2 years.
The next thing I really remember over the years is the advice coming our way. That was CRAZY. Well-meaning people but still we had to do some things our own way. Yes, we listened because someone new at something would be crazy not to listen to advice but we had to use our own common sense to everything that was coming our way. You really do have to be careful of the advice you listen to because to be honest we got some that we look at now and can’t believe that was given to us. LOL
WOW, 2 1/2 years now as a daddy. Lil Chris has Blessed me so much and Blessed my wife. It’s been an amazing adventure and still a long way to go but we are fully up for it. This has been the most fun while also being the most challenging thing we have ever done and oh so rewarding!
I also see peoples’ point that you should never have a baby to make your relationship or marriage stronger. I see so many teens and even women trying to get pregnant to keep their boyfriend or husband. Well do NOT do that. First of all, they don’t deserve you if you need to trap them like that. It’s not gonna last anyway and move on. Second, you are giving that child a job right from the start and that is to hold your relationship together.
As a father now I realize that having a baby is not going to make you come closer to each other. It’s going to exemplify what your relationship is all about. If you have a strong relationship you will more than likely get closer but if you have a weak relationship having a baby will more than likely tear your relationship apart. So please make the decision to have a baby when you have a strong foundation to build on as a family.
Again another word of advice do not get married either to hold a guy or girl closer because marriage is not something you go into thinking it will make everything right. If your relationship is not right before marriage and you have major problems before you will probably have bigger problems after marriage.
Now on to what this blog post was about and that’s wishing all the fathers who are taking responsibility a HAPPY Fathers DAY!! Our world needs you. If you are a woman who has to do it all on her own then this is for you too! I praise all the people that are doing the right thing and being in their kids’ lives. Kids need their fathers just as much as they need their mothers. Kids need both parents as much as can be. I know in this day and age that its’ less likely that a child has both parents under the same roof ,but if at all possible make that family work.
If you aren’t a parent yet then keep all this in mind before you make the decision to have a baby because it’s a lot of work that goes into raising a child. You want to do it with someone who is going to be with you until the end! Don’t settle on this issue. Find someone that loves you for you BEFORE you make that kind of decision.
Happy Fathers Day,
Chris Benton