I read all the time that money is the cause for divorce. Everywhere you look you see this. But is this true? I mean does money problems really cause the divorce or are they the symptom of something else? See I do not believe money problems are the root of the problems. How many times have you seen very broke people who have a strong marriage? How many times do you see rich people divorce? To answer both, you see it a lot!
I am not saying that the money problems wasn’t the trigger for the divorce because that is a whole different situation.I am saying the root is usually something different. Money problems can put a stranglehold on the marriage if you allow it too, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
I believe the cause of any divorce is always a selfish problem. Most people do not follow one verse, and that is Ephesians 5:21:
Ephesians 5:21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
So why do people not follow that verse? It is always a selfish reason. We all have some form of selfishness within our bodies and we have to fight that daily because it just comes naturally to us. What doesn’t come naturally is being selfless to others especially our spouse. Believe it or not, both ways are just habits and if you become selfless enough you will form the habit of being a selfless person. This doesn’t happen overnight but you can create something in you to be that kind of person.
Yes I know this seems way too simplistic for marriage but to be honest, I am a very simple guy. When I see marriage problems and if I study what’s really going on, in most cases I see a selfish attitude in one or both of them.
How many times have you heard someone say who is married, well I am doing me! And I am not saying you should not have me time because in many cases that will help hold your sanity together but when someone make that statement in many cases it’s the attitude behind it that is destructive. See if you want me time but have a sarcastic attitude about the me time then your mind tells you that in order for you to win your spouse is losing. That will destroy your marriage.
If on the other hand you say, I need this me time so that I can be the best woman, wife and mom I can be for everyone then that is different and that kind of attitude keeps you focused on your spouse and kids. It’s all in the reasoning and attitude behind taking me time.
You have to ask, “Are you taking me time with a destructive attitude or are you taking me time with a servant attitude?” If you figure that out, then you are on your way to living a selfless life!
Say this, Please God, help me become more Christ-Like. Help me be the man or woman that you called me to be. Help me see what I am being selfish in my marriage and help me correct it immediately. Help me show my spouse that he or she is number 1 outside of you in my life. I know I can only do that if you are number 1. Help me keep you number 1 and help me live in an attitude of gratitude from this point! AMEN!
Living a God-Inspired Life!
Chris Benton