I Don’t Belong in This Mess: Breaking the Chains of Addiction

Do You Feel Like Nothing Good Comes Your Way?

You are not alone. Many people in the world feel this way. What really matters is not what happens to you but how you respond to it.

Often, we can be the main reason we remain stuck in the mess we’ve created. Our minds tell us we don’t deserve anything better because of guilt or shame, so we cling to situations where we don’t belong. This is why addicts chase the next high despite knowing its destructive consequences. It’s why some women stay in abusive relationships, burdened by guilt. It’s why we overeat or engage in other harmful behaviors.

I know this feeling all too well. I had my first drink at 17, completely unaware of the ripple effect that one night would have on my life. I was hooked almost overnight, spending the next 19 years drinking 3-5 times a week. There were countless attempts to quit, but my addictions had such a strong grip on me that I believed I belonged right where I was.

During those 19 years, I faced life-threatening situations: a gun was pulled on me, I was in and out of jail, and I experimented with various drugs. I was unfaithful in my first marriage, which I ultimately destroyed because of my addictions, and I was on the same path at the beginning of my current marriage.

Sometimes I wonder why I’m still alive when many of my friends from that time are no longer here. It’s jarring to witness death after death among people you’ve known for years, especially when you’re only 53. Addictions are cruel, and one of my callings in life is to spread the message that, with God’s help, you can break those chains. Trust me, those chains are very real.

Looking back, I am in awe of what God has done in my life. He has helped me see the world through His eyes in ways I never thought possible. He blessed me with an amazing wife who truly meant her vows and gifted me with a son who is now almost 13 and a daughter who is almost 6. I know without a doubt that they wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t gotten sober.

So, why am I sharing my story? Because you do NOT belong in the mess you’re in. God knows your struggles and wants to help you, but you have to give Him that chance. You must believe that you don’t belong in that mess. Until you believe it, you won’t allow God to work in you.

On December 26, 2007, I hit a low point. I woke up realizing that I had gotten drunk for the first time in my life on Christmas, and I was miserable about it. God convicted me that it was time to change. He showed me I was on the same destructive path as my first marriage and that I would lose everything if I didn’t make a change.

I pleaded with God, unsure where to begin. I had watched many people struggle with daily desires for alcohol, but they had managed to stay sober for a year or two. Deep down, I knew that if I still had the desire, I could never quit.

Here’s what I prayed: I didn’t ask God to help me quit; I prayed for Him to completely take away my desire for addiction. I knew that was my only hope.

I felt a nudge from Him to give Him 30 days. I thought, “Whoa, you are God—why do you need 30 days?” What I didn’t understand back then but know now is that in the Bible, obedience always precedes a miracle! The 30 days was MY act of obedience.

I struggled for that month. The remarkable thing is, as I entered the new year, I realized I was one week sober. Then it was two weeks, and finally, a month. At that point, I experienced some kind of breakthrough because I can only remember my desire fading away. Since then, I have had no desire for it.

I can’t explain why God took that desire from me. All I know is that He did. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go to AA or Celebrate Recovery—those organizations are incredible resources for many people. I just know how God helped me, and I want to share that He is still a deliverer.

Psalm 18:2 says, “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” This verse captures it all. He truly can deliver you from whatever you’re facing. He doesn’t want you to carry those strongholds; He wants you to give them to Him. You have to believe you don’t belong in your mess because, when you realize that and turn to God, nothing is impossible!

I’ve only shared a small piece of my story here to show you that if God can deliver me from the many strongholds in my life, He can do the same for you. Maybe one day I’ll share more of my journey, including the funny and ugly things I did during my addictions, but for now, I hope you see my point: He wants to make you whole. He hurts when you hurt.

I pray that God delivers you from your desires as He did for me, and I hope to see you share your testimony one day so we can change lives together! He will use your mess to create a powerful story if you allow Him to. It’s taken me nearly eight years of sobriety to feel like He can use me this way, but I trust that He will use you when the time is right!

If you’re ready to declare, “I don’t belong in this mess,” ask God to come back into your life. Ask Him to help you see your strongholds for what they are—nothing but the enemy’s deception. Ask Him to guide you and to change your heart so His desires become your desires. Ask Him to use your testimony as you emerge from the mess you’re in.

Living a God-Inspired Life,

Chris Benton