Marriage is like a puzzle, a collection of scattered pieces that, over time and with intentionality, reveal a beautiful picture of unity. However, building that image requires patience, discernment, and, most importantly, commitment to finding and adding the right pieces.
In my journey with Sandy, we’ve experienced the complexity of this puzzle firsthand. God showed us the way early on, and since then, we’ve been working on our puzzle together, finding new pieces and putting them in place to reflect His vision for our marriage.
Here’s what we’ve learned along the way:
1. Identify the Core Corners: Foundation of Beliefs
- Just as a puzzle starts with the corners, a marriage should begin with shared core beliefs and values. These foundational beliefs give structure to the rest of the puzzle. Sandy and I discovered ours early, knowing that honesty, loyalty, and faith in God would shape our lives together.
- Ask Yourself: Are you and your spouse clear on your foundational beliefs? If not, start here.
2. Add the Right Pieces – And Let Go of the Wrong Ones
- Not every piece fits into a marriage puzzle. Sometimes, we try to force pieces that don’t belong—career choices, friendships, even habits that pull us apart rather than bring us closer. Early in our marriage, we struggled with this, trying to hold onto individual desires that didn’t serve our relationship.
- Reflection: Are there parts of your life that God is urging you to change for the sake of your marriage? Lean into that guidance.
3. Let God Lead – Seek His Vision for Your Marriage
- We believe that God has a vision for each marriage, a purpose that unites two lives in a way neither could achieve alone. For us, that vision was Inspired Marriage, a calling to support other couples on their journeys. Once we embraced it, everything began to align.
- Explore Together: Have you discussed your shared vision? What unique mission might God be calling you to fulfill as a couple?
4. Cultivate Oneness and Appreciation
- One of the biggest lessons Sandy and I learned was to appreciate each other’s efforts without demanding perfection. When you become easy to please, you invite more joy into your marriage. This mutual appreciation becomes another piece that strengthens the puzzle.
- Daily Practice: Practice being easy to please. Appreciate each other openly and often. Simple gestures can foster gratitude and love in your daily interactions.
5. Understand All the Love Languages
- Knowing and speaking each other’s love languages isn’t a one-and-done deal. Many people focus solely on their spouse’s primary love language, but all five love languages matter. Christ demonstrates all of them—acts of service, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, and physical touch.
- Application: Make an effort to incorporate all five love languages in your marriage, not just the primary ones. Embracing each one brings you closer to God’s full design for love.
6. Allow the Puzzle to Grow Over Time
- Marriage is an ongoing puzzle; it’s never fully complete. There’s always another piece to add, another area to work on. Sandy and I continue learning, adjusting, and improving each day.
- Commitment: Dedicate time to your marriage puzzle every day. Small steps—prayer, open conversations, or simply being present—add valuable pieces that bring you closer together.
Final Thoughts: Bring God to the Center
The key to completing the marriage puzzle lies in letting God be your guide. He provides the pieces, but you have to remain open to His leading and willing to make changes. With Him at the center, the pieces begin to fall into place, creating a clear picture of the love and unity He designed for marriage.
Living a God-Inspired Life,
Chris Benton